Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
