physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
