How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
