clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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