i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
