I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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