He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
