You're a womanizer and a bitch.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
