I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I am one with the molecules
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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