you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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