When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We're too hungover to prance.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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