i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
