At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
