i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
