1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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