Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
