she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
