Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
