go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
