Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
