Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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