Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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