I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
