Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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