ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
