Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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