I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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