so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
