No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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