4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
