Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
zippers are such a cool invention
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
