Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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