come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
