All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Pants are for mortals
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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