he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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