i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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