she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
