If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i dont even know how to be here
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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