Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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