Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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