just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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