I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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