the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
