I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
