As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
