entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
