Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
