stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
