i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
