Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
