Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
