I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
